what the i ching says...
calvin brain hopping out
he present is embodied in Hexagram 8 - Pi (Union): There is good fortune, but let him reexamine himself. Let him divine whether his virtue be great, unremitting, and firm. If it be so, there will be no error. Those who have not rested will then come to him. With those who are too late in coming, it will be ill.
In the third line, divided, we see its subject seeking for union with such as ought not to be associated with.
In the fourth line, divided, we see its subject seeking for union with the one beyond himself. With firm correctness there will be good fortune.
The fifth line, undivided, affords the most illustrious instance of seeking union and attachment. We seem to see in it the king urging his pursuit of the game only in three directions, and allowing the escape of all the animals before him, while the people of his towns do not warn one another to prevent it. There will be good fortune.
The situation is shifting, and Yang (the active masculine force) is gaining ground.

The future is embodied in Hexagram 62 - Hsiao Kuo (Preponderance of the Small): In these circumstances which it implies, there will be progress and attainment, but it will be advantageous to be firm and correct. Action may be taken in small affairs, but not in great affairs. Like the notes that come down from a bird on the wing, to descend is better than to ascend. There will, in this way, be great good fortune.
The things most apparent, those above and in front, are embodied by the upper trigram K'an (Water), which is tansforming into Chen (Thunder). As part of this process, danger and the unknown are giving way to movement, initiative, and action.
The things least apparent, those below and behind, are embodied by the lower trigram K'un (Earth), which is transforming into Ken (Mountain). As part of this process, docility and receptivity are giving way to stillness and obstruction.

OOOH the iching is soo wise to me. My fate be determined and clear to me...
Well see if he reexamines his behavior.

hating it
calvin brain hopping out
i am so confused. Jason is playing serious games with me, when were face to face he tells me stuff about future plans of us hanging out. when i think of future plans i think more about he and i laying around.
He thinks of us doing extracting and such... I am really just dont know what to do.

i ching reading for today...
calvin brain hopping out
The present is embodied in Hexagram 37 - Chia Jen (The Family): For the regulation of the family, what is most advantageous is that the wife be firm and correct.
The fifth line, undivided, shows the influence of the king extending to his family. There need be no anxiety - there will be good fortune.
The topmost line, undivided, shows its subject possessed of sincerity and arrayed in majesty. In the end there will be good fortune.
The situation is shifting, and Yin (the passive feminine force) is gaining ground.

The future is embodied in Hexagram 36 - Ming I (Darkening of the Light): It will be advantageous to realize the difficulty of the position, and maintain firm correctness.
The things most apparent, those above and in front, are embodied by the upper trigram Sun (Wind), which is tansforming into K'un (Earth). As part of this process, penetration and following are giving way to docility and receptivity.
The things least apparent, those below and behind, are embodied by the lower trigram Li (Fire), which represents brightness and warmth.

will be in seattle till sat...
calvin brain hopping out
well i am in seattle, working on selling art and puppys.. things are okay man the weather was really nice and then it went to really shitty. UGh.
well now all of a sudden i dunno really whats going on things are a bit up in the air, we still made all these future plans just jason didnt contact me on his side to get me in touch with him. I hope he didnt get arrested in his Vw van.

sO something completely different....
calvin brain hopping out
my art project music film studio Thing called the 23 Chamber dada was in the newspaper!
i am stoked.....

here is the article


when i find my camera i will post photos and films of the actual event!

Things i want to say to Penz but......
calvin brain hopping out

 I know your Feeling Sick cause at least you've told me that much, I Sure do miss you very much, I hope you get better with the medication the doctors perscribed you. I wish i could be close to you, I guess in a few days i will be. I've been working hella over time on making more wine out of my moms grapes in the back yard and also some apples and plums that were still laying around, I have 2 more 5 gals going, and i have a whole 5 gals of wine we made already that i am planning on bringing to you, Hopefully it is yum. to you, I am not much on wine, Lol. ill bring you also some of the spirit i made from the yeast that was left over. i miss you so much, Ive been trying to work on my mom, She isnt against you coming and visiting < i told her i wont allow you to work on shit but art and music if you ever do come around here again, since shes saying you said over and over again you didnt want payment for helping, I am mad at her for being so full of shit. She still refuses to help jeremy also, I told her IF she doesnt wise up I will move away. WEll SHe fucken is chilling out I am in her house working on pressure cooking loads of grain again. I miss you so much. i wanted to geta place but i am so lonely and a real scardy cat. Neglect if a form of a buse and I just am not an abusive person. I promised my father i'd take care of her, why the fuck did i have a kid for her, if i want to just now leave. I want you to be a part of my family and i Hope she hasnt disasuded you, You know i love you, i am just So alone. and i cant trust my brother.

 the other day i came over and he was yelling at her because she got him a cell fone. He wants to now go to some other company cause they will give him credit on his own now all of a sudden. I was just scared of him and quiet i didnt know what to do. he was like a dog yelling at her at the top of his lungs. I got ashamed of myself cause of how her and i fight. But this had no reason at all. it was out of the blue.
 and then  the next day he sends me this text message...

show details 11:28 AM (12 hours ago)
Sis i know i dont talk to you but i feel like catching a violation an going on a long vaction things are easier in there only thing that holds me back is my son i wanted to get high last night maybey i dont fucken know sorry to bother you

 well then i well go up to his house and talk to him until he feels a little different, really i just remind him he can be a drug addicted fuck head again once he actually gets off probation.
  wow People are MOody. ME Too actually.
 I  was Overwhelmed with doing alot of work today I woke up early to put mikey on the Bus, feed my Horse and geeses and puppys, 
 OOH my puppys are HUge they need homes HELLA yo.
  SO when i leave to seattle i am also going to try and take some of them to sell.
 wish me luck

calvin brain hopping out
 ugh, how i long to turn off how i feel. For a long time Reall long time i was avoiding love, real love and just using men as dildos and friendshp.
 i felt the yern to find someone and was even using  my lover at the moment to help me do magic to find that person who would love me and I love him and he solve my home problems.
 Wasnt that a dream a dream come true, i hate how i get everything i want, anything i invision i can make come real, but so what. How sad life is,
 I am trying to used my sadness as creative push but i am sad that my friend who left me is Ill, and hurt, and had  been trying to fix his volkswagon so he could live in and be closer to me, I am sad as i am unsure what to think. i wish he'd come home to me, But he doesnt feel this place as home.
 He wants my mom to say sorry to him. She doesnt even understand why she should say sorry.
 Same old stupid bullshit on her behalf of greed. 
 i am stupid and am still takng care of my mom.
 her lfe goals and moving to spain, bulding a house there  doing that.
 i am unsure what to do. i have to help her.

life is what it is....
calvin brain hopping out
Sooo.... well why did i decide to do this again? well i am alone finally again, Yes i have my life organized and finally  i have at my finger tips the ability to create art, music, when ever i chose,  can listen to vinyl, record it, mash it.. i can really now a days do anything i want even with video also.
 i am trying to get that part of the studio working better.
 i need more self motivation


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